Suicide "I've decided it's time to take on the psychiatric establishment"

Leucosticte

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I wrote last January:

I've been getting fucking over by psychologists and psychiatrists for many years now. Here's a partial list:
  • 1996 -- Kaiser Permanente shrink prescribes Paxil for depression; it induces erratic behavior, resulting in my getting convicted of four misdemeanors; another Kaiser Permanente shrink provides his opinion to the juvenile court that Paxil did not, and could not have, caused such behavior; years later, evidence is released that Paxil is not actually safe for young people, as it induces suicidal behavior How Many Suicides Happened Because of a Misleading Drug Safety Study?
  • 2009 -- A government shrink diagnoses me with several mental disorders, which serves to discredit my statements that my threatening the President was the result of political beliefs rather than mental illness, rendering the whole act, and the years of my life that I sacrificed for it, pretty much pointless, given that the narrative is that I was not an idealist trying to advance his cause, even if it meant he had to suffer persecution for it; but rather simply some nutcase who couldn't think straight
  • 2015-2016 -- Court-ordered shrinks find that I have mental disorders that make it unsafe for me to have custody of my daughter; the court uses this as the basis for why I should not be able to exercise parental rights
It's time for the final fight against the shrinks. I need to fight now for my right to die. The arguments for why I should be allowed to die are actually stronger than the arguments for why I should be allowed to remain free in society as a living person, because if I die, I can cause no harm to society, while if I'm free, then presumably considerations of risk of harm to others are relevant.

So my plan is, I'm just going to stop eating or drinking anything, until either someone notices and tells the cops that I'm killing myself, or I just pass out and someone calls 911 and says that I'm unconscious and not waking up. Upon questioning, I would just say that I was attempting to kill myself.

The Code of Virginia says that if I get involuntarily committed, I have to right to appeal to a jury of seven persons. Title 37.2. Behavioral Health and Developmental Services

What I want to do is let a jury of my peers weigh in on the issue of whether they think it's a sign of mental illness if a person wants to kill himself, or if it's possible to simply be a misfit and therefore have a rational reason to want to die. The whole point of having a jury trial is to take power away from the psychiatric establishment and put it in the hands of laypeople, who can hear both sides (both the person accused of having a mental illness that makes him a danger to himself or others, and the shrinks who are making that accusation), and decide.

Last time I went before a jury, it didn't go too well for me, but that may have been partly because I fucked up the jury selection; there was a guy I should have struck from the panel based on stuff he said during voir dire, and for some reason I didn't, and he ended up becoming the foreman and probably the driving force behind their decision. Maybe this time I can do better.

If I lose, I could serve six months in a mental hospital. § 37.2-817. Involuntary admission and mandatory outpatient treatment orders

Big deal; I served 46 months in prison, so 6 months is only 13% of that amount of time. It's probably worth it to go on the offensive against the psychiatric profession for a change, by arranging a pitched battle like this. I need to fight them, to put them in their place, and stand up for the individual's right to make his own decisions, including about whether he wants to continue to live.

The reality is, dying is a rational choice right now, because I have nothing else left to do. I can't hold a job, and I can't do anything further politically, through the electoral process, by running for executive or legislative branch offices. So I have to instead fight for liberty through the judicial branch; and this is how it's done. Before, I sought the support of the people at the ballot box; the next phase is the jury box. My thought is, if the jury rules in my favor, that will be a rebuke to the psychiatric establishment; it will make them lose face, because the laypeople rejected their notions.

I could sit at home and be a caregiver for my dad. But I won't get any respect from society for doing that. They will still consider me a loser. I just don't like being in that situation, of facing constant social disapproval, and mockery, and contempt, etc. At this point, I'm not even considered a significant villain at all, but just a petty villain, now that I've been forced to quit most forms of politics.

As usual, I'll probably fight alone. And maybe I'll just get written off as a lunatic, and my voice will be lost, as the shrinks succeed in discrediting and silencing me once again. Oh well; that's how it goes sometimes.

We're at a point now where the liberty movement has been mostly co-opted by the opposition, and the remaining hardcore elements are no longer well-organized and ready to support the individual who actually does fight for his liberty rather than just talk about it. Oh well; it is still the duty and role of individual to fight for liberty on his own, then.
I could add to that list that I had a girlfriend who from 2000-2003 was on psychiatric meds that she said diminished the intensity of her orgasms by at least half, which diminished the quality of our sex life. So even when I had a cute teenage gf, the psychiatrists were fucking that experience up.
 

Leucosticte

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For at least the past year, I've been interested in the idea of getting civilly committed so that I could take on the psychiatric establishment in the court system. See e.g. Somebody could theoretically bring a test case in Virginia about suicide rights | Sanctioned Suicide

I tried this plan last spring, but due to the heavy tick infestation in the woods, I had to return home earlier than expected. I wrote about this at My mom had the cops haul me off to the hospital yesterday for a suicide evaluation and in my blog post (since deleted, in the wave of WordPress deplatformings), https://nathanlarson3141.wordpress.com/2019/05/13/the-protective-patina-of-losers/

Finally, I made another attempt to execute this plan last month, having waited for a season when the ticks are less active. I also put my campsite in an area with better drainage than the previous one, and put a thick tarp, tied down with polypropylene ropes, over it to protect against the elements.

20200206_074757.jpg

Circa 11-12 January, I went out into the woods into my tent and returned to my house. My mother called the police to report what I was up to, and they issued me a notice forbidding trespass, since those woods were apparently donated by a local developer to the community college, presumably as a tax writeoff, after he found he couldn't build on the land due to the soil's unsuitability for septic drainfields. Suicide - I got served with a no trespassing warning In keeping with Louis Brandeis's statement that "pedestrians had the moral right to cross unenclosed, unposted, waste lands" I viewed this as a minimal property violation at most, though.

On 13-14 January, I returned to the woods. At night, pursuant to a report by my mom, the police came and found me there, and asked if I had plans to hurt myself. I told them I was planning to kill myself by terminal dehydration, and I was placed on a stretcher in an ambulance and taken to Fauquier Hospital, where urine and blood samples were taken, and I was evaluated by a black lady from the Community Services Board who said, "We live in a society" that wants people to live. I felt like the titular character in Joker talking to his government shrink. The police seemed unsure about whether there was any actionable trespassing claim that could be made, due to questions about who owned the property (e.g. the college, or a nonprofit holding the property for the benefit of the college), plus perhaps there were questions about my state of mind, so I was not criminally charged.

I was taken to The Pavilion, a mental hospital in Williamsburg, and circa 16 January a brief hearing was held before the special justice to determine whether I should be committed against my will. My lawyer, Lois Manes, argued that outpatient treatment might suffice, but because I told the court I'd prefer not to do outpatient treatment, the court committed me.

I was in the mood unit, which was for people who were too young for the gerontology unit and not crazy enough for the acute unit. I would say that about two-thirds of the patients in my unit were there for some situation involving drug and/or alcohol, such as overdose or heavy use requiring detox. Some of them were trying to get into the adjacent Farley Center for rehab. Others were just using substances to deal with their problems and/or emotions. Maybe a third just had regular depression or had made a suicide attempt as a bid for attention or to manipulate the system when they were getting arrested. About a third seemed to have a case where it was ambiguous what was going on (e.g. accidental drug overdose or suicide attempt; or wrist-slashing intended as ordinary self-harm or suicide attempt) and what they would say to the special justice might depend on whether they were trying to downplay what they had really been trying to do so they could get out of there sooner and avoid getting a commitment put on their record, which would result in loss of gun rights.

I told the shrink that my main problems were that I'm distractable and disorganized and usually fall short of the requirements of quality and quantity of output in the workplace. I might do okay for awhile, maybe even have brilliant or at least interesting accomplishments in some areas, but I'm not really consistent at anything, which is what employers tend to look for in someone they're going to keep on their payroll. Failure to hold a job then causes problems in my relationships, since chicks expect some dude to pay their way in exchange for their lying on their backs and staring up at the ceiling for 15 minutes a few times a week.

I was diagnosed with "Major Depressive Disorder, Severe, ADHD" and prescribed Wellbutrin, which for the first week I was there, I refused. They also initially wanted to put me on Trazodone, even though I don't really have sleep problems; I guess they just like to put everyone to asleep at around 8:30 PM so they wake up early the next day to go to group rather than sleeping through it. I was working on a 2,000-piece Kim Norlien Country Music jigsaw puzzle (apparently they've reduced it down to 1,000 pieces because 2,000 pieces was just too hard) with someone at 4 AM once and they told me, "This isn't therapeutic behavior."

Circa 21 January, a hearing was held before the special justice, this time to determine whether I should be forcibly medicated. My lawyer was Robert Gibbs. I argued that I had not had good results with antidepressants in the past, and that "depressed" was just an arbitrary label that the psychiatrists who wrote the DSM chose to apply to people with certain thought patterns. The judge ordered the involuntary treatment, so I began taking the prescribed Cymbalta orally so that they would not forcibly inject me.

The psychiatrist was going to order my release on 29 January, but changed his mind and kept me an extra week because I was still answering in the affirmative, when he asked if I had suicidal thoughts. I went to the James City Circuit Court on 31 January to appeal both the commitment order and the involuntary treatment order. I showed up in the only clothes I had, the galoshes and plaid shirt I had worn to the campsite, and the blue, pink, and yellow Superman logo themed pajama bottoms that an alcoholic female college student had given me after my camouflage pajama bottoms got confiscated by one of the hospital techs for having a drawstring (forbidden due to suicide risk).

By statute, I had a right to a jury trial on the issue of the commitment; since I chose to exercise this right, a jury trial was scheduled for 25 February. According to Virginia legal precedent, I did not have a statutory or common law right to a jury trial on the issue of involuntary medication, so the court could have decided the appeal on that issue that day, except that the government neglected to subpoena the doctor as a witness; therefore, the court continued that case as well to the 25th. Lois Manes withdrew from the case, because she was concerned about, e.g., the possibility that a hung jury could delay my release, or that religious jurors might vote to civilly commit me out of moral concerns about suicide, so Robert Gibbs was going to be my lawyer in her stead.

Finally the doctor gave up and quit asking me any questions about suicidal ideation, and released me on 5 February, with a two-week supply of Cymbalta, an appointment with a Community Services Board doctor who could prescribe more, and the advice to keep taking the medication. This made the issue of commitment and forced medication moot, so that appeal will be withdrawn. I suppose there could theoretically be an issue capable of repetition yet evading review, since if I were to express suicidal intentions again, I could get committed and forcibly medicated again, but I'm not sure what legal precedent I would be trying to set. Jury decisions don't set precedents, but maybe the judge would issue some decision about a set of facts that might be repeated in the future.

It seems like our rights are whatever the courts say they are, though, and that there's not a lot of consistency in the law. Roe v. Wade would say that a woman has a privacy right to make decisions concerning her own body with regard to abortion, but courts haven't ruled that we have a right to smoke pot or commit suicide or make any number of other decisions about our bodies.
 

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fukurou

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You make it sound kinda fun.
What i want to know is, how does one fap
At such a place? In the toilet in the room
Do you have enouth privacy to jack it?
 

Leucosticte

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Administrator
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You make it sound kinda fun.
What i want to know is, how does one fap
At such a place? In the toilet in the room
Do you have enouth privacy to jack it?
I NoFapped the whole time I was there. It was my longest streak in years.
 

Leucosticte

Staff member
Administrator
Moderator
You make it sound kinda fun.
What i want to know is, how does one fap
At such a place? In the toilet in the room
Do you have enouth privacy to jack it?
One downside is that they usually don't have floss in these places (since you might hang yourself with it), nor any decent toothbrushes (they usually have really hard bristles that destroy your gums), nor mouthwash (since you might try to get drunk off it). I think I got a gum infection while I was there.
 
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